Don't think you're next

(Inspired by the Kottkes' trip to NZ and DON'T DREAM IT'S OVER by CROWDED HOUSE (a NZ band))

There are hillbillies within, and in-breeds too, no doubt
Try to drink your HighLife - come on, bottoms up!
There's a "performer" ahead, many more in fact
Yup, you'll never see the "mic" the rest of the night
With Matchbox Kenny here

Hey now, hey now
Don't think it's your turn
Hey now, hey now
When they all come in
They come, and come
And sort up ahead of us
"they just put that in!"

K @ K's this R?

An excuse to touch oneself

Well it was a good night... or at least it started out that way... when we got there it was mostly empty... which under normal KG-driven conditions that would be really good... get 2 "numbers" in a piece and in bed by 10:30PM... BUT unfortunately KG is out of commission... Jimmy related to Rhonda something about "throat surgery"... Jimmy was vague and claimed that "him and KG don't get along so well".. this led to wild speculation about some tragic Brokeback incident between them...

In any case, Matchbox Kenny was at the helm and as a result chaos reined and we bailed after some severe Jamming - "performing" only one rotation... As the night wore on we got a lot of tourists (lots of "duets" that consisted of shouting out the parts of the lyrics that they already knew... and mumbling through the rest). Magoo-san was there in an unusual non-competitive demonstration of his "skills" - unfortunately since this was informal there were no props.

One of our recently reported characters (a skinny creepy biker-wannabe who usually sports a "Southern Blade" biker vest) turns out to have an even better actual handle: "Chico". He seemed particularly supportive of two short, squat, matching Brokeback cowboy bookends who did some edgy and well executed material - "Hurts so Good" and "Crush" respectively.

We spied a new regular perched at the bar... not really named at this point... sort of a cross between "Ma" Barker and a fire plug. She was sporting the univeral unisex poor rummy haircut... thin greasy "naturally moussed" hair combed straight back and continuing to grow down the back of the neck without any plans for future trimming... i.e. a zero-maintenance-get-this-out-of-my-face styling

Karaol spent the evening being groped by a drunken not-her-sycophant-boyfriend guy (??!!). Speaking of Karaol.. I believe that her entire head is gin blossomed... literally... maybe even extending down into the neck a bit...

As previously mentioned, Rhonda had an extended conversation with Jimmy about a number of topics...I will leave it to her to report the details.

Humorous Anecdote:

BikerBouncer to The Alien as we were leaving: (motioning over) Hey... come here... i gotta tell you something..
The Alien: (moving in close)... huh?
BikerBounder: Your fly is open...
The Alien: (performing a quick check) no it's not op... hey... (realizing he had been "had")
BikerBouncer: (chuckling at pulling a really "good one"... and raising hands as if to apologize for "getting him good")
The Alien: It's all good, chief... It gave me an excuse to touch myself

Once this was related to all of us on the sidewalk outside... we all had a good laugh at how ingenious the original prank was AND how witty the comeback had been

THE LINE UP
The Alien: SUNDAY MORNING COMING DOWN
Rhonda: (chose to sit this one out)
Joe: (chose to sit this one out)
Lisa P: 99 RED BALLOONS
Chris: ACT NATURALLY

see you next R @ K's for K

One guy's toothless, she's missing one hand.

(inspired by The City of New Orleans by Steve Goodman)

Feasting on some really greasy Onion Rings,
Uptown Neighborhood, R, without fail
Fifteen beers and fifteen trips to hell,
Three bikers and four or five redneck males.
All along the smokey bar
Most aren't violent but those guys are
One guy's toothless, she's missing one hand.
Sippin' drinks that are real cheap,
Some hipsters come in we all turn and stare
Jimmy mumbles something I'm sure I don't understand.

CHORUS:
Good evenin' KG how are you?
Don't you know me I'm here every week,
I'm the one you call up and tries to act like he "sings",
I'll have "sung" five or six times before the night is done.

did someone say, "K on R @ K's"?

Who knew kwiting Karol's kould be so easy?

Phone conversations at the Lynch's last night - brought to you by the
Department of Homeland Security:

"Hey, chief, I'm not going to be able to make it tonight. I've got some
production stuff to work on."
""
"No, LisaP isn't feeling well. She can't make it either."
""
"I don't think Heineken will make her feel better."
""
"You're really going by yourself?"
""
"Yeah, that's probably a better idea to drink that bottle at home...by
yourself."


"Honey, I'm going to be home a little later than expected."
""
"That's sweet that you cancelled karaoke to stay home."
""
"You've already finished a bottle of wine?"
""
"I guess the Italian bottles are smaller. Who's watching the kids?"

I wish I knew how to kuit U

(inspired by Brokeback Mountain - actually it is verbatim... I don't think I can improve on it in any way... it is perfect)

Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together, f'n real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Ennis! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that, that's all we got boy, f'n all. So I hope you know that if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short f'n leash you keep me on, and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you'll kill me for needing somethin' I don't hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a coupla high-altitude "encounters"* once or twice a year! You are too much for me Ennis, son of a whoreson bitch...

I wish I knew how to quit you.

* edited to retain a PG-14 rating

In the words of The Alien, "I wish I knew how to quit you, Jimmah!"

how about some K on R @ K's?

Last Minute Korrection

The Alien has been called back to the Hive... This can mean only one thing - The "Colonization" and "Subjugation" plan is being put into effect.

Who can K under that kind of eminent danger?!

We are riding out the eminent Invasion at the Hopleaf rather than the more defensible but also more obvious Karaoles...

Let's surprise the Green Devils by hitting them while the hillbillies have them pinned down - from the North - from where they least expect it!

Where did I leave my shoes?

(Inspired by FOOTLOOSE by KENNY LOGGINS)

Been jonesin' so hard
better be on guard
2 days, and then
I will say, "never, never again!"
I've got this feeling
sobriety's holdihg me down
I'll hit the bottle
then stagger all around
Now I gotta cut...

Loose and a-buse
Where did I leave my shoes?
Please, Jimmy
pick me offa my knees
Room, stand still!
C'mon at least un-til
I-find my shoes

Everyone-what's - your excuse?

K @ K's on R?

I kan't kuit U, Half-Pint/DutchBoy

Thank you, Joe for snapping this candiate performance "momemt"

The understudy takes the stage

(as reported by The Alien)

In honor of Matchbox Kenny who took the karaoke kontrols last night in KG's absence, Chris has asked me to relay the "events" of last night. I think he felt too close to the action to report objectively. Hopefully the photos will make it to the feed. I think Chris may have made some new friends...

Where to start? KG was out, Ladies Who Love Ladies were in, and someone changed the lightbulbs to 1,000 watts. I felt like I was back in Gitmo.


It was a night of song thievery - some newcomer did an okay version of Bust a Move. We all had to hold Rhonda back. She wanted to mess her up. Also, Folsom Prison Blues was taken before Chris and I even opened the book. I guess it's the Joaquin the Line effect - now everybody's a JC fan.

The real news was Mr. Frye's impromptu trio. Half-Pint, Dutch Boy, and Full-Pint - three guy painters - were new to the scene, but immediately at-home. American Girl brought HP and DB to the stage, sharing the microphone with Fearless Frye. It felt a bit like Brokeback Mountain. I think I heard one of them say, "I just can't quit ya," but I'm not entirely sure.

Jimmy provided a Marie update and more. Apparently she's cured of the hepatitis, but hasn't secured a letter of wellness from her doctor yet. No letter = no entry. So Karol has been spending some time with her. Apparently Marie has been coming to Karol's since Karol was a young girl. Ah, generations. Jimmy also shared that he's been working at Karol's for quite a while - 33 years to be precise. That's a career!

Tight rotation - lots of good songs. Chris will have to provide the lineup - I barely remember what I sang.

THE LINE UP
The Alien: CITY OF NEW ORLEANS (openner for the TRIBUTE TO THE CRESENT CITY tribute)
Mr Brett: HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN (closer for the TRIBUTE TO THE CRESENT CITY tribute)
Rhonda: (chose to sit this one out)
Joe: (chose to sit this out)
Lisap: DREAMING, HELP!
Chris: THE TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGIN', AMERICAN GIRL (performed as an intimate duet with Half Pint with Dutch Boy Supervising)

I never tried to understand or question why you tie your scarf around your jaw

(inspired by AMY by PURE PRAIRE LEAGUE)

I can see why you think your head is cold
I never tried to understand or question why you tie your scarf around your jaw
But now you've been gone for much, much too long...
for just a cold - there must be something wrong

Marie, that's more than just the flu
You look... a lil'jaundice-y too
For a while, maybe Jimmy should ban you.


anyone up for K @ K's on R?