Hillbilly Karma Sutra

Well this was more like it... The place was basically empty except for one tentative office/birthday party. Jimmy was firmly established behind the bar and there was no sign of trouble anywhere.

By the time The Alien arrived from his XBOX/DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION Installation, things were ready to leap out of the starting gate... for one rotation it was basically us, Matchbox Kenny and the most bold and dramatic of the office party. It was an easy, layed back vibe.

Too easy and layed back as it turns out because our apparent disregard for our lack of "singing" and "performance" ability emboldened the office party to flood Matchbox Kenny with a tsunami of requests. Effectively JAMMING us until 11pm.

Luckily Joe came in about that time with some Fun and Games in the form of Joe's childhood friends (and brothers!), Ebin and Asher. Just what our little party needed to bring it to that next level... Ebin coming from the Far East (Philippines) and Asher coming from the Nearer East (Hawaii), brought a much needed international perspective on the "performance" and the "drinking of shots and beers". Asher shared many of Ebin's unusual habits and predilections to all assembled for our collective entertainment, then graciously proceeded to knockover a HL and spill it down Ebin's back... Oh did we have a time.

As Minnesotans and as Brothers, these two are knaturals... Ebin even "left one on the table" when we hightailed it out of there around 11:30.

The Alien had a wonderful Idea... in order to Avoid the JAM we can put in slips with random names... That way he will not know who to JAMM. Assign any old name to each slip given to Matchbox... We were leaning in a CompLit direction by imagining names from Great and Obscure Books... I plan to use "Stephan Daedalus" at my earliest convenience.

Jimmy was in high spirits... relating to us that he had received his belt (the Hillbilly Karma Sutra one) from an acquaintance of his residing in "the Penitentiary". We immediately began to speculate and entertain ourselves with what practical purposes Jimmy applied his belt to.

THE LINE UP
The Alien: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO (NOW)?, CITY OF NEW ORLEANS
Joe: STREETS OF BAKERSFIELD (duet with Chris)
Ebin: ALCOHOL AND CIGARETTES
Asher: (As designated driver, he chose to sit this one out)
Chris: THE WEIGHT, STREETS OF BAKERSFIELD (duet with Joe), LOVESICK BLUES

I will not be at K next R @ K's... I will be taking a vacation from "performing"

450 Parts per Million and Rising

(Inspired by 5 FEET HIGH AND RISING by JOHNNY CASH)

How high's the CO2, Experts?
"450 ppm and risin'"
How high's the CO2, W?
"Global Warming estimates need revisin'"

Oil men are the last to care
They'll sell it just as long as we leave them there
Time to elect someone new or we ain't got a prayer,
500 ppm and risin'

K this R @ K's

As The Alien puts it... time to take K's back.

When the Going gets Weird, I get Going.

One of the things I like about Karaoles is that it has always just avoided degrading into an annoying COPS episode. While all the elements are there - liquor, Stonewash, Toothlessness - it has somehow avoided the obvious potential decent into viciousness.

However, I guess it was only inevitable that a "perfect storm" of events would lead to a Fall.

1. Karaole - (as she was quick to remind everyone within earshot) the owner of Karaoles - had been there quite a while when we wandered in.
2. Jimmy - the natural stabilizer - was NOT there. His bartending duties taken over by Catfish - a good man, but no Jimmy.

I should have known trouble was in the air from the nervous mood of BikerBouncer. He was carding everyone - even people that he never cards - "The Boss is here... so I gotta card everyone".

The second sign of trouble was the general mood of Karaole and her Posse of Male Sycophant Boyfriends. They were over served and over confident... and in possession of an edgy pack mentality. "It's okay... we are with the Owner!" So when one of the Sycophants started victimizing Jo-Anne (TEAR IN MY BEER)... jumping up on her lap in her bar stool trying to kiss her and breaking the stool it was not fun but not a surprise. It went on way beyond the point where it was merely uncomfortable and progressed into Prosecutable. BikerBounder was powerless - especially since minutes earlier Karaole had been drunkenly repeating about 20 times that, ".. I OWN this damn bar... I can fire anyone here.... any of you all here... I can FIRE!"... In fact she was cheering on the sycophant... all BikerBouncer could do was look on sadly in disgust and repulsion... Jimmy would never have allowed it.

To top it off Karaole swaggered up several times to "perform" to howls and grunts from her sycophants... including an actual pole dance in appreciation from Jo-Anne's sexual assailant...

We could only pretend not to notice (in order to avoid being victimized ourselves) and hope that cooler heads would prevail.

It was just a plain mean vibe... One of the only bright spots was the unexpected arrival of lisap

It went from weird to terrifying when Lil'Jimmy entered obviously Amp'ed way too far up... I am guessing he had some kind of chemical help there (The Alien asks, "Meth?"). That was the last straw for us... when the Going gets Weird, I get Going.


Well now we know what we always expected: Jimmy is the only thing holding our Social Fabric together and keeping us all from descending into Chaos.

THE LINE UP:

Rhonda: (chose to sit this one out)
Joe: (chose to sit this one out)
Lisap: (chose to sit this one out)
Chris: (chose to sit this one out)

See you next week for K @ K's on R

The Rich stay Drier

(Inspired by THE RING OF FIRE, by JOHNNY CASH)

Race Is A Funny Thing
Some "find" others are "looting"
Stranded as the Water got higher
So I took what I require'd

CHORUS:
I sat in the dark and perspired
As the levees came Down
And the Guard started firing

The City Drowns, Drowns, Drowns
Excuses pile Higher
The Rich stay Drier


Anyone up for K this R @ K's?