Meet Joe's Back

Let me tell you a story. A story about a Karaoke Guy you might think you know a lot about.

Then you may have thought you "knew" him after he "invited you in back" to lift up his shirt and give you a detailed guided tour of his recently, entirely tattooed back (lots of Dragons, "Ladies" and Wizards, quite stunning, actually)

But Even Then you Would Be Wrong.

You don't know Jack, about Joe.

So allow me to provide some background... deep background.

At first we were very happy to see KG... no neck brace... up there with a Lad we later found out much more about and turned out to be his "middle son" (after the first - conceived when KG was 17 and before the 14 year old "accident child"). Everything was looking like a good night - despite the well ensconced office party group Jamming the Heck out of the whole bar.

So KG comes back for his usual visit on his way out for a cigar smoke... when wouldn't you know it, he was in the mood to "chat"... actually "mood" is only part of the picture... perhaps he was more in a "mood swing" to chat. His biorhythm chart must look like our current "administration's" national debt curve, because, despite the lack of tell tale signs of substance abuse (more on that later), he was a raving, drooling chatter box.

Like fools, thinking that even KG would know about "boundaries" and "not freaking people out", we encouraged him with questions and friendly nods and the impression that we were listening to him... this first led to the afore mentioned Back Tour... but then progressed quickly, dangerously and unavoidably into "other areas".

Here are the Chronological Facts (arranged and sorted by me... because they were related in a loopy non-stop rant that had no apparent point or direction)

o KG is Born
o KG is a unruly undisciplined boy
o KG gets involved in Drugs
o KG begins "Hustling on the Street" to pay for Drugs - not male prostitution... more like selling government cheese... Pseudo-legal phone/cable installations, etc.
o Quits School in 10th Grade/Fathers First Son (not sure which led to which)
o Continues to "Live on the Street" in order to stay Drunk and High
o Begins series of random jobs... Delivery Driver... Short Order Cook...
o Learns FIRST LIFE LESSON: KG can get a job anywhere and can always squeeze money out of a situation... (his relating this to me inspired him to share a little funny exchange between him and the "middle son" - After complaining about having no money, KG challenged the Lad in the following way, "You and Me both quit our jobs today... night now... and I bet you by tonight, I will have money in my pocket and you will not" I think his point was made because Middle Son decided to pass.
o KC gets fired from Delivery Job for cussing out his boss... ironically his current Boss.. (more on that later)
o wanders into restaurant... Drunk Proprietor offers KC cooking job... 1 Month later he is running the place for him. His wife is a waitress there and they like the 3rd shift cause they can "do all kinds of crazy shit"
o Learns SECOND LIFE LESSON: KG is Born Leader and Troubleshooter - I would have to say, seeing how he handles himself in a variety of potentially terrifying and life ending situations @ K's, I have to agree with him.
o KG begins to turn his life around at about 30 - admits he is an Alcoholic and General Substance Abuser and quits - inspiring his "To Thine Ownself Be True" tattoo - some where in there has a another couple of kids
o Goes back to cursed out Boss and starts as Driver
o Using his Life Lessons, quickly becomes an Expediter
o Becomes Manager of Machine Shop... "turns it around" making it a profitable venture again
o Learns THIRD LIFE LESSON: Treat people with respect and honesty and they will work hard for you.
o Based on successes at Machine Shop, approaches Boss with request for promotion/raise... boss refuses... KG calmly explains to him that if he doesn't that KG will walk. Boss thinks about it and relents
o Learns FOURTH LIFE LESSON: "Make sure it isn't your balls in the vice, make sure you got the other guy's in the vice"
o Based on Success at Machine Shop is offered opportunity to turn around Plating Shop - KG accepts
o Learns business quickly and cuts costs by renegociating or finding new suppliers, fires dead weight employees and challenges remaining to "work hard and get raises" or join their recently fired colleagues.
o Learns FIFTH LIFE LESSON: KG can learn any business and that even though he is not a HS graduate, he knows more than most business people because what he learned he learned from the Street and it all applies.
o KG learns Plating Business (did you know that you have to filter the solution in Chrome Baths every six months or your plating will be pitted?... not so pitted than just anyone can see it, but after you are in the business a while you can spot a little pit a mile away)
o KG continues as VP of Plating today... "You can print ASSHOLE on my business card just as long as you pay me the salary I deserve"

There you have it... You have Met Joe.

Actually, other than the repeated violations of my personal space, and the uncomfortable transitions as people fell away from listening to his ravings, I found the whole story very inspiring and, in retrospect, interesting... reminded me of many of my relatives' personal stories and sort of made me nostalgic and home sick.

Well anyway on to other matters... Lil' Jimmy was behind the bar and instantly remembered all our drink orders and was inappropriately Loud with us... so we immediately shunned him... I was sure Jimmy himself was going to throw him out because Lil' Jimmy was way way too stimulated... but I guess Jimmy was stuck because Mrs Jimmy was no where in sight.

Not a lot of regulars... but I have to say my view was mostly obstructed by KG's Babbling Head most of the night.

KG came through for us though, vaulting us to the front of the line by running up and bullying his son into changing the rotation order.

THE LINE UP

The Alien: STACY'S MOM (HAS GOT IT GOING ON). (real drunken crowd pleaser.. pandering of the most high order)
Rhonda: (chose to sit this one out in order to avoid KG - but no such luck)
Joe: (chose to sit this one out in order to avoid KG- but no such luck)
Lisap: I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL (another drunken crowd pleaser - she really nailed this - making it her own... again)
Chris: LAY LADY, LAY (met mostly by yawns and the realization it was time to look for the barmaid for drink orders)

Until next R have a good week and see next R @ K's for K!

No, You Can't Prove That Laws Were Broken.

(inspired by DADDY SANG BASS by JOHNNY CASH)

I remember when Sadam had Bagdad,
times were hard and things were bad.
But there's a silver lining behind every cloud.
Just rich white people, that's all we were.
Trying to drill and sell oil out of other people's dirt.
So we got some "threats" and got on on TV singing loud.

Chaney sang bass,
Rummi sang tenor.
Condi and Little Georgie joined right in there.
Lying seemed to help us get the oil.
One of these days and I know we can.
like Iraq and Afganastan.
We're gonna start to sing about Iran.

No, you can't prove that laws were broken.
By and by, Lord, by and by.

Any interest in K @ K's this R?

Staying on the Horse

It was a relatively quiet night... I was immediately struck by the absence of BikerBouncer - some new guy I never saw... he fit right in, of course with his generally biker presentation.

Lisap, The Alien and I all arrived at about the same time and settled back to catch up and survey the scene... smattering of hipster tourists and some of the regulars. So we leisurely put in a round knowing that we probably wouldn't be staying long. We basically got a rotation after the Hipster Tourists got theirs (HIGHWAY STAR, (the Theme from) CHEERS, etc.) and a Lone Wolf guy that "performed" CREEP by RADIOHEAD. I have to hand it to him he Stayed on the Horse the whole "performance" - he may have had to grab the saddle horn a few times but he rode it out.

It was starting to fill up and since Matchbox Kenny was at the wheel we made a pact to skidaddle once The Alien finished his Energy Food Pod... The nail in the coffin might have been the Duet of MAKING LOVE BY THE DASHBOARD LIGHT (two of the chubbier hairier Hipsters). We left knowing for sure that if there was an Oscar for Karaoke we would have won "The Best Three Performances in a Row" category

As I said, a short mostly uneventful night.

THE LINE UP

The Alien: RING OF FIRE (shameless but effective pandering of the highest order)
Lisap: HELP (the "audience" really got into this one )
Chris: YOU'VE GOT TO HIDE YOUR LOVE AWAY (crickets... *chirp**chirp**chirp*)

Hopefully I will see you all @ K's for K next R!

It's too late, maybe, can it be too late?

(Inspired by IT'S TOO LATE BABY by KARAOLE KING)

Workin on my computer just lost track of the time
There's something wrong here, there's been no Kall for K'ing
I guess I am lazy, or maybe I've just stopped trying

And it's too late, maybe, can it be too late?
Though I really did try to make it
Though I may cry, you'll sigh, "We'll give it try"
And you just won't make it.

I know this IS R, but anybody up for K this R (today) @ K's?

Haven't Died

Just letting everyone know I am still here